The Law of Wasted Effort

Do you know that lions only succeed in a quarter of their hunting attempts, which means they fail in 75% of their attempts and succeed in only 25% of them.

Despite this small percentage shared by most predators, they don't despair in their pursuit and hunting attempts.

The main reason for this is not because of hunger, as some might think, but it is the understanding of the *“Law of Wasted Efforts”* that has been instinctively built into animals, a law in which nature is governed.

Half of the eggs of fish are eaten... half of the baby bears die before puberty... most of the world's rains fall in oceans... and most of the seeds of trees are eaten by birds.

Scientists have found that animals, trees, and other forces of nature are more receptive to the law of *"wasted efforts".*

Only humans think that the lack of success in a few attempts is failure... but the truth is that: *we only fail when we "stop trying".*

Success is not to have a life free of pitfalls and falls. Success is to walk over your mistakes and go beyond every stage where your efforts were wasted, looking forward to the next stage.

We are not in the same boat

I heard that we are all in the same boat, but it's not like that. We are in the same storm, but not in the same boat. Your ship could be shipwrecked and mine might not be. Or vice versa.

For some, quarantine is optimal. A moment of reflection, of reconnection, easy in thongs, with a cocktail or coffee. For others, this is a desperate financial & family crisis.

For some that live alone they're facing endless loneliness. While for others it is peace, rest & time with their mother, father, sons & daughters.

With the $600 weekly increase in unemployment some are bringing in more money to their households than they were working. Others are working more hours for less money due to pay cuts or loss in sales.

Some families of 4 just received $3400 from the stimulus while other families of 4 saw $0. In some countries around the world, the stimulus got them nothing.

Some were concerned about getting a certain candy for Easter while others were concerned if there would be enough bread, milk and eggs for the weekend.

Some want to go back to work because they don't qualify for unemployment and are running out of money. Others want to kill those who break the quarantine.

Some are home spending 2-3 hours/day helping their child with online schooling while others are spending 2-3 hours/day to educate their children on top of a 10-12 hour workday.

Some have experienced the near death of the virus, some have already lost someone from it and some are not sure if their loved ones are going to make it. Others don't believe this is a big deal.

Some have faith in God and expect miracles during this 2020. Others say the worst is yet to come.

So, friends, we are not in the same boat. We are going through a time when our perceptions and needs are completely different.

Each of us will emerge, in our own way, from this storm. It is very important to see beyond what is seen at first glance. Not just looking, actually seeing.

We are all on different ships during this storm experiencing a very different journey.

Realize that and be kind.

The Independent Self Sufficient adults

 My mom did not sleep. She felt exhausted. She was irritable, grumpy, and bitter. She was always sick until one day, suddenly, she changed.

One day my dad said to her: - I've been looking for a job for three months and I haven't found anything, I'm going to have a few beers with friends.

My mom replied: - It's okay.

My brother said to her: - Mom, I'm doing poorly in all subjects at the University.

My mom replied: - Okay, you will recover, and if you don't, well, you repeat the semester, but you pay the tuition.

My sister said to her: - Mom, I smashed the car.

My mom replied: - Okay daughter, take it to the car shop & find how to pay and while they fix it, get around by bus or subway.

Her daughter-in-law said to her: - Mother-in-law, I came to spend a few months with you.

My mom replied: - Okay, settle in the living room couch and look for some blankets in the closet.

All of us gathered worried to see these reactions coming from Mom.

We suspected that she had gone to the doctor and that she was prescribed some pills called "I don't give a damn”... Perhaps she was overdosing on these!

We then proposed to do an "intervention" with my mother to remove her from any possible addiction she had towards some anti-tantrum medication.

But then ... she gathered us around her and my mom explained:

"It took me a long time to realize that each person is responsible for their life. It took me years to discover that my anguish, anxiety, my depression, my courage, my insomnia & my stress, does not solve your problems but aggravates mine."

I am not responsible for the actions of anyone & it’s not my job to provide happiness but I am responsible for the reactions I express to that.

Therefore, I came to the conclusion that my duty to myself is to remain calm and let each one of you solve what corresponds to you.

I have taken courses in yoga, meditation, miracles, human development, mental hygiene, vibration and neurolinguistic programming and in all of them, I found a common denominator in them all...

I can only control myself, you have all the necessary resources to solve your own problems despite how hard they may be. My job is to pray for you, love on you, encourage you but it’s up to YOU to solve them & find your happiness.

I can only give you my advice if you ask me & it depends on you to follow it or not. There are consequences, good or bad, to your decisions and YOU have to live them.

So from now on, I cease to be the receptacle of your responsibilities, the sack of your guilt, the laundress of your remorse, the advocate of your faults, the wall of your lamentations, the depositary of your duties, who should solve your problems or spare a tire every time to fulfill your responsibilities.

From now on, I declare all independent and self-sufficient adults.

Everyone at my mom's house was speechless.

From that day on, the family began to function better because everyone in the house knew exactly what it is that they needed to do.

For some of us this is hard because we've grown up being the caregivers feeling responsible for others. As moms & wives we are fixers off all things. We never want our loved ones to go through difficult things or to struggle. We want everyone to be happy.

But, the sooner we take that responsibility off of our shoulders & on to each loved one, the better we are preparing them to be MEsponsible.

We are not here on earth to be everything to everyone. 

Stop putting that pressure on yourself.